It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything in this blog about my life. I’d like to take this opportunity to update you on what has changed and tell you a little about what is inspiring me now.

In March of 2018, I quit my job at the YMCA of Greater Kalamazoo and moved in with my mom in Holland, Michigan. I wanted to find some way to support myself working from home doing something I enjoyed. I first set about taking a class on proofreading, thinking that would be a good career for me. But I couldn’t finish the class. I got too depressed working on it. So eventually I gave that up.

The next thing I tried was supporting myself as a self-published author. I self-published a fiction novella, a non-fiction book about mental illness, and a book of poetry. I invested my retirement fund money from the YMCA in courses and tools that would help me with the business. Although I enjoyed the writing and enjoyed learning about how to make book covers, format a book, and market a book, I didn’t make any money. And I didn’t have anymore money to invest in marketing, because my only income was disability and I was barely making ends meet.

I started thinking about getting a job, but then I encountered Marisa Peer on YouTube and became fascinated with her method for transformation called Rapid Transformational Therapy. Thanks to my tax return, I had enough money to pay my first three payments for RTT Online, the online course for becoming a practitioner.

In April 2019, I finished RTT Online and became certified as a practitioner. Since then I’ve offered three group therapy sessions at my church, Unity on the Lakeshore, and I’ve done eight individual sessions. I haven’t made enough money to cover the ongoing payments for the course, but I have had some income.

That brings me to now. I’ve just been hired as an online ESL tutor, starting July 8. I was looking for something I could do online from home that would allow me time to build my business as an RTT Practitioner. I heard about ESL tutoring opportunities from a work at home newsletter I subscribe to and decided to apply. I will be working ten to twelve hours a week, early in the morning, which could be a challenge for me since I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I can get up on time if I have to, so my hope is that it will get me going in the morning and that I will stay up and work on marketing my business.

The big news is how RTT has helped me. I’ve struggled with depression for most of my adult life. I did an RTT session on my depression and went back to scenes of being treated by force in mental hospitals. When I did the detective work to determine what was at the root of my depression, I concluded that I was afraid that if I weren’t depressed, I would go off my medication and be treated by force. My depression lifted immediately, and it hasn’t come back. I still tend to oversleep, but with the help of RTT, I’ve come to realize that is because I’m so overwhelmed.

I did an RTT session on why I am paralyzed by overwhelm and again went back to scenes of being treated for mental illness. I used a method called role, function, purpose and intention, and realized that I am paralyzed by overwhelm because I’m afraid of feeling like a I felt in the mental hospitals. I still struggle with overwhelm, but I never completed my session for the issue. I was supposed to make a recording with hypnotic suggestions to program my subconscious to overcome being paralyzed by overwhelm and I didn’t. Instead, I’ve been using EFT, otherwise known as tapping, to relieve the overwhelm when I feel it, at least, some of the time I tap. The rest of the time I nap to numb the pain.

I also did an RTT session on myself for why I am so unhappy. I realized that I’m unhappy because I’m afraid I’ll make a fool of myself if I’m happy. But I’m not really, at this point in my life, that scared of making a fool of myself. I used to be, so my subconscious mind is programmed to avoid making a fool of myself, but that can change. Now, whenever I want to feel a burst of happiness, I tell myself I don’t have be afraid of making a fool of myself. I can take it. And I feel better.

I find Rapid Transformational Therapy to be very inspiring. I’ve enjoyed working with clients and I’m excited about the change RTT has made in my own life. Marketing my business scares me, but I plan to do a session for myself on why marketing scares me, and see what I can find out.

I’ve read three books by Marisa Peer: Ultimate Confidence: The Secrets to Feeling Great About Yourself Every Day; I Am Enough: Mark Your Mirror And Change Your Life; and You Can Be Thin: The Ultimate Programme to End Dieting…Forever. I learned a lot from them about the power of the mind to affect your reality. One big takeaway was the importance of programming oneself with a positive mindset by saying, “I am enough. I have always been enough. And I will always be enough,” and by telling myself, “I have phenomenal coping skills.”

I’m working every day, bit by bit, toward making a better life for myself. I still have a few years to get my act together before my mom moves into a retirement home and I have to find a new place to live. I have high hopes that by the time that rolls around, I will have a successful business as an RTT Practitioner, and I will have overcome my overwhelm enough to stay active and alert throughout the day. I’m more optimistic about my life than I’ve been in years. And I’m happier too. Even though at times the changes I’m making have been a struggle, I know I’m moving in the right direction.