About Inspired and In-Spirit
The Short Version:
My name is Lisa Renee Zoetewey. I’m a writer. I have a mental illness which is controlled by medication, which has interrupted my career. I’m trying to change my life. At first, this blog was about the things inspiring me to change. Now its not only about things that inspire me, but also about poems and reflections inspired by other things.
The Long Version:
Something Has to Change
Have you ever taken a look at your life and said to yourself, “Something has to change?” Maybe after spending a day, a week, a month, a year, or more trying to motivate yourself to just do something, anything?
Well, that’s what I’ve been thinking for at least six years. Something has to change.
The Original Plan
When I was graduating from Hope College, back in 1995, I had a plan for my life: I would have a career as a creative writer and creative writing professor, get married, and have a family.
The Problem
But there was one teensy-weensy problem: Schizoaffective Disorder. Or was that Schizophrenia? Or Bi-Polar Disorder? Or Depression with Psychosis? Or Psychosis NOS? Can’t really say for sure. Psychiatrists disagree.
Mental illness has challenged me immensely. At times it has been excruciating. But it hasn’t been all bad.
Mental illness and spirituality have been intimately intertwined in my life, and I’m better off because of it. It hasn’t totally ruined my life, but I’m not living the life of my dreams either.
My Current Situation
Last year quit my part-time job at the local YMCA and moved in with my mom in Holland, MI. I’m living on the disability benefits I’ve received since October 2009. I’m also doing what I can to develop a self-publishing business both under the pen name Lisa VanZandt and under my real name. Visit my Lisa VanZandt author site here. And in April 2019 I certified as an RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) practitioner, a certification I hope will support me as a I continue writing and publishing.
I’m not married. And I don’t have any children. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself.
Something has to change. And something is changing. I’m going to figure this self-publishing thing out. And I’m going to build a practice as an RTT Practitioner.
Searching for Inspiration
When I started this blog two years ago, I was looking for inspiration to change. I still am. Self-help and spirituality have been ongoing passions in my life, and I continue to be inspired by speakers and writers on those topics.
For one summer and fall, a few years ago, I attended St. Luke’s Episcopal Church. I wanted to know what I could learn from the sermons about living a better life. I wrote several blog entries inspired by those sermons.
After awhile, I lost motivation to attend St. Luke’s. I enjoyed the sermons, but I didn’t completely feel at home there. So I wrote a number of blog entries about things such as the Unity Movement, Eknath Easwaran, and MaryMorrissey.
One place I find inspiration is passages from the mystics and sacred texts from the world’s religions. For over a year now, I’ve been taking passages that inspire me and writing poems and poem-like reflections on those passages. So the blog has shifted its focus from being largely about me to the things I’m writing about. It’s partially about self-improvement, but it’s about self-expression too.
I still intend to share some of the things that are inspiring me to change, but that’s not the whole focus anymore.
What Helps
There’s something important that makes this all possible: my anti-psychotic works. I finally know what it’s like to think clearly.
Resolution
I don’t know what the future holds, but I know something has to change and I’m determined to make one change at a time until I’m living a life I love.
Welcome to my quest for self-improvement and self-expression. And thanks for visiting my site. I hope the things that inspire me inspire you too.
Please read my first blog entry: An Unexpected Takeaway from Making Hope Happen.