In God Makes the Rivers to Flow; An Anthology of the World’s Sacred Poetry & Prose, Eknath Easwaran includes a selection from the Dhammapada entitled “Twin Verses.”  I’ve written the following poem-like reflections inspired by this selection.

All That I Am

All that we are is the result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfish thoughts cause misery when they speak or act. Sorrows roll over them as the wheels of a cart roll over the tracks of the bullock that draws it.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought: we are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thought give joy whenever they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.

—The Dhammapada

All that I am is the result of what I have thought:

and I have thought crazy thoughts.

I have thought my food was poisoned, and so

my body reacts to my food as if it were poison.

I have thought I was under attack,

the hospital staff were trying to kill me;

I lived in a constant alert,

determined to protect myself.

And so now, the littlest things seem too much,

because I have that trauma in my body.

I have thought selfish thoughts—

offering programs at church and thinking

only of the money I would get,

caught up in agony because it was not enough.

Why did I not think of the good I could do,

the difference I could make in people’s lives?

My thoughts of being used and taken

advantage of left me tired and depressed;

I could hardly get out of bed;

I wanted to cry all the time.

I have thought a man I admired was the one,

and so, I made a fool of myself pursuing him,

and I was punished for it.

I have thought, “It’s too hard to write a poem;

I can’t do it.” And so, I lay in bed,

feeling guilty, feeling overwhelmed,

postponing the inevitable.

I have thought of myself as a failure

and stayed in bed to comfort myself.

I have thought of myself as mentally ill

and allowed it to destroy my self-worth.

I have thought of myself as unlovable,

and so, I have avoided relationships

and stayed safe in my isolation.

It is my thoughts that have created my suffering.

And so, I think of ways to change my thoughts.

I do the Work, questioning if my thoughts are true,

and I learn I do not have to believe my thoughts.

I question how my thoughts make me feel,

and realize it hurts me to think destructive thoughts.

I try to turn my thoughts around,

and know that the opposites of my destructive thoughts

can be truer than the alternatives.

I look at scenes from my past that make me think

the way I do, and I say that that’s not me,

that will never be me again, I am not

in a mental hospital being treated by force,

and I never again will be treated by force

because I take my medication.

I am safe. I never have to feel

the way I felt in the mental hospitals again.

I catch myself thinking I can’t do something,

it’s too hard, and I tap on acupressure points,

repeating to myself that I can’t, it’s too hard,

until the thoughts no longer feel true,

and the feeling of overwhelm is gone.

I meditate and discover that the thoughts that hurt pass,

they are like cars going down a street

fading into the distance. I do not have

to get in the cars. I can just watch them disappear.

Thoughts create suffering, but thoughts can change.

I can change my thoughts and change my actions

and change my life. I do not have to be broken forever.

My life is in my hands. All that I am

is a result of what I have thought. What I think now

determines what I will be in the future.

So, think good thoughts!