In God Makes the Rivers to Flow; An Anthology of the World’s Sacred Poetry & Prose, Eknath Easwaran includes a selection from the Katha Upanishad entitled “Perennial Joy.”  I’ve written the following poem-like reflections inspired by this selection.

Alone

The truth of the Self cannot come through one

Who has not realized that he is the Self.

The intellect can never reach the Self,

Beyond its duality of subject

And object. He who sees himself in all

And all in him helps one through spiritual

Osmosis to realize the Self oneself.

—The Katha Upanishad

It seems impossible to ever realize

the truth of my divinity, to know myself

as the Self, the one being, the holy instant.

And it seems impossible to find someone

to show me the way. My intellect reaches

toward the Self. It says that everything

is energy, that that is all anything is.

We are all beings of energy swimming

in a sea of energy. The only way we can tell

each other apart is because of the speed

of our vibration. So I know that all is one.

There are variations of vibrations within

the one, but we are all one. Still, while

my intellect may acknowledge that science

proves the truth of essential unity, a part

of me still believes in the duality

of subject and object. I believe I type

on a computer keyboard, not that I am

typing on myself. I am typing on myself

but I don’t know it. When I eat a salmon

dinner, I don’t see the salmon as my energy

meeting my energy, one vibration infused

within another in a cosmic dance,

but what else is it? When I hug a friend

I feel her body against mine as if we are

two separate beings. I don’t feel myself

melting into the one. When I shower,

I believe in the hot water caressing my skin.

When I sleep, I believe that I am enveloped

in my sheets, supported by my mattress,

comforted by my pillow. When I read,

I believe I am encountering someone else’s

thoughts. I don’t think I’m being told

something I already know, although

a part of me already knows. I am constantly

interacting with an other, another. I see

boundaries, limits, distinctions. I believe

that we are different. I can’t do this on my own!

I long for deeper realization. I long for

higher consciousness. Yet that longing

doesn’t break the spell of the senses.

I meditate and feel a spaciousness within,

my thoughts soften, my mind quiets,

my body seems expansive. But my ego

is never extinguished. I still am I.

I do not know myself as the Self.

I believe it’s possible, but alone

I cannot find the way. How blessed

is the one that finds a realized teacher,

that absorbs the realization through

spiritual osmosis! How fortunate!

What is my path? Who will show me

the way? I have tried so long to do

it on my own. Now I understand the folly

of walking this path alone.