In God Makes the Rivers to Flow; An Anthology of the World’s Sacred Poetry & Prose, Eknath Easwaran includes a selection from Solomon Ibn Gabirol entitled “The Living God.” I’ve written the following poem-like reflections inspired by this selection.
O My Soul
As long as you live, you are akin to the living God:
just as He is invisible, so are you.
Since your Creator is pure and flawless,
know that you too are pure and perfect.
—Solomon Ibn Gabirol
O my soul, you are everything
that I think I’m not,
you’re the divine within me,
perfect in every way.
You are infinite, my body is finite,
and I think I’m my body,
and I think you’re something
other than me.
When I get on the scale in the morning,
and look at the number that makes me ache,
I think I’m my body,
I think of my body’s imperfections,
and I think I’m flawed.
When I turn off my alarm in the morning,
and lie awake in bed for hours,
unwilling to face the day,
unwilling to face myself,
I think how flawed I am, how weak.
When I’m lonely with no one to call,
and have dreams I can’t share,
when I’m afraid to speak my truth,
I think how unworthy I am, how poor,
how empty, how alone.
When I eat foods I know I shouldn’t eat,
when I eat too much,
I blame myself, I shame myself.
When I remember how many times
I said the wrong thing to a child,
failed as an aunt, failed as a sister,
failed as a daughter.
When I consider the illness
that led me to believe so many lies,
to drive across country till I ran out of gas,
to live in the woods without food or water,
to walk a day and a night, dehydrated,
incontinent, speaking to the souls in heaven,
and pleading with a man I admired
to accept, forgive, and respect me.
I identify with my past, with my body,
with the false self. I see myself as broken,
failed, flawed, unattractive.
I see myself as the sinner
I was raised to believe in.
O my soul, how easily I forget you!
How easily I forget how glorious
and perfect you are!
How easily I forget you are the truth, the light!
How easily I forget that you are
what I am in essence—you are my origin,
you are all that’s real.
How many times have I been told
this life I think is real is just an illusion?
This body I think is real is just an illusion?
My past is nothing?
If I could truly comprehend you as me,
me as you, us as one with all that is,
then I would know
there is no sin,
there is nothing to forgive,
and all is love and being and bliss.
If only I could.