In God Makes the Rivers to Flow; An Anthology of the World’s Sacred Poetry & Prose, Eknath Easwaran includes a selection from Swami Paramananda entitled “Source of Our Existence.”  I’ve written the following poem-like reflections inspired by this selection.

What Is God?

 O Thou Compassionate, All-loving Spirit!
Thou art the sustaining power of our life.
Thou art the unalterable source of our existence.
Thou art eternally abiding within us.
Thou art above us and below us; Thou art before us and behind us; Thou art all about us.
—Swami Paramananda

 What is this spirit that some call God?

What is this love, this ultimate purity?

What is this spirit that knows all and feels all and is all?

What is this spirit without which nothing could exist?

What is this source of all?

What is this being?

What is the constant presence in which there is never an absence?

What surrounds us: above us, below us, before us, behind us, beside us?

What is this being that is us and is more than us?

And how can this being be known, be found?

Is there a way to know the truth of our being?

Is there a way to know the truth of all being?

Does this being think like us—or as us?

Some sages say that all-there-is is consciousness.

That God is pure consciousness from which emerges all-that-is.

That consciousness is the only real.

That consciousness is all that truly exists.

Some sages say that out of consciousness emerges energy and out of energy emerges matter.

But energy and matter are illusions.

Some sages say there are spheres of consciousness: our individual consciousness inside higher consciousness inside yet higher consciousness inside even higher consciousness—on and on until we reach the consciousness that is eternal timelessness and infinite spacelessness.

How can this be conceived?

How can this be understood?

From the roots emerge a tree trunk. From the trunk emerge branches. From the branches emerge leaves. They are all part of one tree.

Water can be made into waves, but the waves are still water.

I was raised to worship God.

If God is consciousness, what is there to worship?

If I am a wave and the water is God, then when I worship God, am I worshipping myself?

If that is the case, what is the point of worship, what is the benefit?

Am I making consciousness into an object from which I am a separate subject?

What does religion do? What value does it have? If it adds to the illusion?

Does making consciousness into an object make it real? make it something to seek?

Within me there is a deep longing to experience higher consciousness.

And yet, I am immersed in the illusion.

I am so immersed in the illusion, a part of me believes that it is real.

A part of me believes in lack of money.

A part of me believes I can’t succeed.

A part of me believes my future is determined by my past.

How do I break free?

I go within and yet I still feel like a subject seeking an object.

I do my best to quiet my turbulent mind.

There is no peace.

I find a softness, like a cloud.

And the real is obscured by mist.

The light cannot shine through.

And yet, this longing urges me to seek the object of my desire.

I read books. I purchase programs designed to lead me to higher consciousness.

I try different exercises.

I go on sacred journeys.

A part of me knows I am the light, a part of me seeks the light outside of me.

I seek and seek. What do I find?

An endless seeking for higher consciousness.

And maybe I’ve found more than I think I’ve found.

And maybe I know more than I think I know.

At least a part of me knows that all that can be found dwells within me.

For me to know God, I must know myself.