In God Makes the Rivers to Flow; An Anthology of the World’s Sacred Poetry & Prose, Eknath Easwaran includes a selection from the Katha Upanishad entitled “The Razor’s Edge.” I’ve written the following poem-like reflections inspired by this selection.
Wild Horses
When a person lacks discrimination
And his mind is undisciplined, his senses
Run hither and thither like wild horses.
But they obey the rein like trained horses
When a person has discrimination
And the mind is one-pointed. Those who lack
Discrimination, with little control
Over their thought and far from pure,
Reach not the pure state of immortality
But wander from death to death; while those
Who have discrimination, with a still mind
And a pure heart, reach journey’s end,
Never again to fall into the jaws of death.
With a discriminating intellect
As charioteer, a well-trained mind as reins,
They attain the supreme goal of life,
To be united with the Lord of Love.
—The Katha Upanishad
Wild horses take over my life at dinner,
especially when I’m a guest and the food
seems to be in endless supply. The better
it tastes the more endangered I am. Wild horses
stand by the serving table and wolf down
the food. Did you know that wild horses
could be wolves? My wild horses howl.
They howl at foul tasting medicine. They
howl at rude relatives. They howl
when the weather is too cold or too hot
or too dry or too wet. They howl when
I go to parties and don’t know what to say
or who to talk to. They howl whenever
they see the blueberry donuts at farmers
market. They howl when my mom bakes
a strawberry rhubarb pie. They howl at night
for ice cream and howl in the morning
when I drink an unsweetened latte. They
howl when I have to find some kind of work
to earn me money. They howl when I’m lonely.
They howl when I’m upset my brother’s dog
ate my mother’s chicken curry. They howl
when I get on the scale in the morning
or when I look at myself in the mirror.
It seems my wild horses are always howling.
I try to take hold of the reins and direct
their power. I try to focus my mind
on the silence, to direct my mind with love.
And the truth is, I eat less than I used to,
and I make healthier choices more often.
I stay calm when the horses howl. I can
concentrate better than I ever could before.
Do I have any hope of immortality?
Will I wander from death to death
for eternity? Sometimes it seems as if
my days are filled with little deaths. I die
when due to overwhelm and fear, I lie
in bed to numb my pain. I die when I discover
I’ve said the wrong thing. I die when I feel
I’m being underpaid. I die when I feel
undervalued and worthless. I die when
I can’t seem to get myself to RSVP for
an evening with strangers, eating, meeting,
having fun. I die when I blame others
for my pain. I die when I choose isolation.
But I also rise again. I rise when I meditate.
When I fill my journal with gratitude.
When I recite my daily affirmations.
When I send love and light to strangers
and friends. When I tap. When I enter
into hypnosis. When I put others into
hypnosis and guide them through a transformation.
I long for a quiet mind because I have
tasted the silence and know it is available
to me. I long for a pure heart because
I have known the love of a parent and
the love of a child. I’ve known the joy
of holding a pure newborn in my arms.
It’s possible to reach journey’s end,
as long as I tame my horses. Perhaps
if I meditate more the horses will stop
fighting the reins. Perhaps if I spend more time
working with the horses, training the horses,
they will learn to behave. Everybody
is born with a team of wild horses, and
some people have transformed wild
to trained. What’s possible for some
is possible for all. I call upon the Lord
of Love to teach me how to master
the reins. I call upon the Lord of Love
to take the reins out of my hands
and guide my horses.
